Observe and Report (2009)

1.0

COMEDY
U.S. Release Date: 04/10/09
Running Length: 86 Minutes
MPAA Classification: R (Pervasive Language, Graphic Nudity, Drug Use, Sexual Content, and Violence)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1

Cast: Seth Rogen, Anna Faris, Michael Pena, Ray Liotta, Dan Bakkedahl, Jesse Plemons
Director: Jody Hill
Screenplay: Jody Hill
Cinematography: Tim Orr
U.S. Distributor: Warner Bros.

Review by: Carter Moulton

04/03/09

Every couple of years—at least in my generation—there’s a strange occurrence in the cinema world. Two films representing a random—really random—topic are released within months of each other. Take, for example, Dreamwork’s Antz and  Pixar’s A Bug’s Life, two films focusing on the “day-in-the-life” of insects—both released in 1998; or take The Illusionist and The Prestige, two films about the dark, twisted underground of 1800’s magicians—both released in 2006. In 2009, it’s Paul Blart: Mall Cop, and Observe and Report, two productions about chubby, dream-filled mall security guards. Usually in these paranormal coincidences, at least one of the films is worth recommendation. Unfortunately, both Blart and Observe and Report belong at the bottom of the ocean.

Seth Rogen  (Superbad, Knocked Up) stars as Ronnie Barnhardt, essentially a bi-polar, less likable Paul Blart. He’s the head of security at the Forest Ridge Mall, where perverts and skateboarders reign. Anna Faris plays the same supposedly-desirable-ditz-of-a-character she always does (see The House Bunny or, more preferably, Lost In Translation) in Brandi, a makeup counter employee at the mall. Ronnie has the hots for the moronic Brandi—although we know he won’t end up with her. Collette Wolfe is fun as Nell, the down-to-earth coffee shop worker that Ronnie chooses to romantically ignore for most of the film.

When a man begins flashing practically every woman (including Brandi) in the parking lot, Ronnie takes it upon himself to bring the pervert to justice. Only problem is, he’s not a real police officer. The mall calls in Detective Harrison (Ray Liotta), a cinematically-typical police type: cocky and supercilious. Ronnie is appalled by Harrison’s entrance, seeing it as a form of ridicule, so it’s safe to say the two don’t get along. Michael Pena (Crash) has a brief role as Dennis, another security guard—he’s one of the pale-lights in this dim debacle.

Photo © Warner Bros.

That’s basically the loose ends of a plot that is thinner than skim milk. Observe and Report, for numerous reasons, feels like a handful of late-night sketches, glued and duct-taped together. Aside from the second-rate content, Jody Hill’s directing style is the main explanation for this feeling, as many scenes end abruptly and useless interludes are maintained in desperate hopes of catching a laugh. Is it successful at getting a laugh? Depends. Do you think the word “f***” is funny?

The movie is essentially an outlet for Barnhardt to tell every character to “f*** off.” Actor and character stereotypes are followed (Ray Liotta is basically playing Ray Liotta version 2.0, as is Faris), the plot is far-fetched and forced, and distasteful language and images are slapped in when there’s nothing else to talk about—which occurs quite often. There isn’t anything creative here, and I can only appreciate vulgarity and profanity when it’s accompanied by some kind of thought.

It seemed like everyone around me was trying to convince themselves that Seth Rogen had made another Knocked Up and that this stuff was actually funny. Every time someone said the “F” word or a character got drunk, the audience burst into the hardiest of laughters. There’s no doubt that Rogen is a talented writer and actor, but I don’t enjoy watching his smugness spatter all over the screen for 86 minutes—it’s the longest 86-minute movie I have ever seen. Suffice it to say, I am hoping this is the end of mall cop comedies—not likely with rumors of a Paul Blart sequel already in the works. While both were thoroughly unfunny, Paul Blart, because of its harmlessness, was an innocent failure; Observe and Report, which may entertain a few who succeed at lying to themselves, is perhaps the least efficient, most mind-numbingly insulting movie since Envy in 2004. Do yourself a favor and see Adventureland instead.