Watchmen (2009)

2.0

ACTION
U.S. Release Date: 03/06/09

Running Length: 163 Minutes
MPAA Classification: R (Strong Graphic Violence, Nudity, Sexuality, and Language)
Theatrical Aspect Ratio: 2.35:1
Cast: Billy Crudup, Jack Earle Haley, Malin Akerman, Patrick Wilson, Carla Gugino, Jeffrey Dean Morgan
Director: Zack Snyder
Screenplay: David Hayter and Alex Tse, based off of the graphic novel by Alan Moore
Cinematography: Larry Fong
Music: Tyler Bates
U.S. Distributor: Warner Bros.

Review by: Carter Moulton

03/03/09

There shouldn’t be any doubt about the validity of Watchmen, the graphic novel; it made TIME’s "Top 100 Novels of All Time." It’s a story comprised of gloom, human confliction, heartache, and, most notably, an underground community of washed up superheroes. Keep in mind that all of the “superheroes” are, in actuality, masked vigilantes, save Dr. Manhattan, but I’ll get into that later. The only question that lingers is whether Watchmen is capable of a successful translation to film. The answer is… sometimes.

The film opens in silence with a solid yellow screen flashing company credits at a heart-pounding rate, leading us to believe that we’re in for something epic. "Epic" is a good word for the opening scene, which shows a superhero named The Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) being brutally murdered in his apartment. It’s the best scene in Watchmen—a shame, considering there are two hours and thirty minutes remaining. The scene is a bloodstained ballad composed by director Zack Snyder (300), full of inspired angles and choreography—all set grandiosely to “Unforgettable” by Nat King Cole. This marks the beginning of Snyder’s risky music selection, which is unquestionably hit or miss.

It’s been a tough couple of months for Richard Nixon. First, late last year, Frost/Nixon was released, exploring the interviews that David Frost held with Nixon pertaining to Watergate. Now, with Watchmen taking place in 1985, we see a total mockery of the former president, right down to his oversized nose slide. It’s his third term in office thanks to a successful campaign in Vietnam and even more “dirty tricks.” It wouldn’t be an Alan Moore adaptation if the filmmakers didn’t include some sort of political commentary—see V for Vendetta. I don’t know about you, but when I hear dialogue concerning “a cowboy in office” (at the end of the film), I think of George Bush. Or was that just my friend and I?

Photo © Warner Bros.

Returning to the narrative, the death of The Comedian sets off an investigation by Rorschach, a teeth clinching, no-compromise vigilante with a memorable mask and a dialect similar to Christian Bale’s in The Dark Knight. He suspects a plot to pick off the newly-banned and mostly retired “Watchmen," the name for an underground superhero brigade, one by one, so he sets out to warn his formerly-masked friends. These include Night Owl, Miss Jupiter, Ozymandias, and Dr. Manhattan. Note that all of these heroes have actual names, but listing every name, alias and actor would further elongate things.

Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup) is the only one of the bunch with real, nifty powers. He is essentially a member of The Blue Man Group with the ability to change size, teleport, manipulate matter in anyway he pleases, and, most obviously, flaunt his large manhood during the entire picture. Time (too much time) is spent depicting how he came to be. As property of the United States Government during the Cold War, he is cited as the most important variable in Soviet-American relations, and rightfully so—he could take out an entire nation with one finger.

Even though the fictional fabric in Watchmen is rich enough, you’ve got to have an artist who knows how to make it into something more, in this case a memorable film. Snyder does a great job of framing, making every shot resemble the panels of its graphic novel counterpart. There’s no doubt that Snyder delicately cares for the visual heart of the film. The action scenes are wonderful if not a little 300-esque. The film follows the novel faithfully—too faithfully, to the point where Watchmen feels more like a dress rehearsal than a film. That being said, the ending is tweaked a little. I won’t spoil it here, but the ending of the graphic novel is said to be one of the most powerful moments in pop-culture literature. Why change the approach?

Albeit much of the dialogue is copied and pasted onto the screenplay and the visual core of the book is present, there’s one major difference between Watchmen the graphic novel and Watchmen the film. The graphic novel approaches its characters as humans first and vigilantes second, while the film goes the opposite direction. This creates some theatricality because we begin to observe rather than participate, a feedback mainly due to lack of emotional connectivity. Scenes that should anchor us down and sink us into the film end up providing only a portion of their potential in terms of influence.

The acting, in places, doesn’t help the cause, although Jack Earle Haley holds his own as Rorschach. Also not helping, a scene, where Night Owl “can’t get it up," is used as a comic device rather than a means to display the human side of a fearful, self-conscious man. When this erectile dysfunction is re-explored, it results in one of the most unpleasant, pornographic scenes I’ve seen in a long time—you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Don’t get me wrong; it isn’t all bad news. As stated earlier, when the action is on (and it is sometimes), Snyder can manipulate an audience like no other. The film is always visually arresting, undoubtedly ambitious, and usually enticing. But with a film like Watchmen that lives and breathes on human emotion fails to engage, the wheels are bound to fall off. And that’s exactly what happens with Watchmen, a film that sizzles, then fizzles, and then ultimately underwhelms.